You may wonder why you aren’t happy. The truth is that you can be happy, but it is important to examine what is affecting your happiness in order to move to a happier state of being.
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Top 7 Reasons Why You Aren’t Happy
- Worry. I believe this is the primary reason why you aren’t happy. Worry does nothing to solve a problem. It creates inaction. When you worry, you let a perceived problem control you. Happy people aren’t immune to worry. They feel it but they refuse to live it out, or let it gnaw on them. Besides, most of the bad things you can imagine, never happen. And even if something bad happens, it is rarely as bad as you imagine it. Lack of money, typically, is the thing about which most people worry. However, income and its effect on happiness is primarily an illusion, according to a Princeton University study. Researchers found that people with above-average income are relatively satisfied with their lives but are barely happier than others in moment-to-moment experience, tend to be more tense, and do not spend more time in particularly enjoyable activities.
- Lack of focus. People who don’t focus on what they are doing but instead let their minds wander are prone to being controlled by their negative emotions. Those who live in the moment, focusing on what they are doing tend to be happier.
- Inability to accept responsibility for your life. Unhappy people tend to view themselves as victims, that life is hard and totally out of their control. Instead of figuring a way out of a problem, the unhappy person wallows in the unfairness of life. Once you accept that you bear responsibility for your life, you are on the road to happiness.
- Belief that things can make you happy. There is no doubt that we live in a consumer society and are bombarded constantly with messages tying happiness to tangible items. Buying the latest car, a bigger house, or fashionable shoes may gives us a momentary feeling of pleasure, but then the next new thing comes along. Happiness is driven by experiences and connections to the people that we love, not by material things.
- Comparing yourself to others. Woe is me, the unhappy person complains. My neighbor has a great life, wonderful kids and a wonderful wife. So, you think that his good fortune somehow diminishes yours. Instead of being inspired by someone who is doing well, the unhappy person dwells on how life is unfair. A happy person will view someone’s good fortune as a sign that they, too, can achieve the same success.
- Seeking perfection. Aiming to be perfect is a fool’s game. Unhappy people tend to be more concerned about achievement, school grades, class attendance, and salary, focusing on minute detail in everything. Trying to manage everything down to the smallest facet can interfere with day-to-day function. There is a happy medium between lack of focus and total control. Happy people find this middle ground.
- You don’t like yourself. This is so often the case with unhappy people. If you don’t like yourself, it is hard for anyone else to like you either. When you constantly beat yourself up over some perceived personal imperfection, you don’t have time to focus on what is right about you and your life. I believe that each person is in control of his or her own happiness. You can learn to be happy, and liking yourself is the first step.
There are more reasons why you aren’t happy so we’ll revisit this subject in the future, and we’ll take a look at how to move past these stumbling blocks along the path to happiness. What makes you unhappy?
Want To Be Happier? Who Doesn’t!
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